Any skilled counselor will advise you that marital challenges outnumber all other life and relationship challenges joined. More challenges occur in marriage than occur from drugs, corruption, economic issues, or emotional or mental dysfunctions. It is a sobering sign of our times that an institution is important to our society and culture as marriage should be in such a disaster. One of the most difficult trials newlywed couples face in adjusting to married life is discovering how to associate with their parents and families of birth in light of their new conditions. Marriage brings about fundamental transformations in the relationships that exist among a couple and the parents in which they grew up. Many newlyweds have difficulty losing the bonds that unite them to their parents and to the lifestyle they understood as single adults. They oftentimes feel split between their loyalty to their new spouse and their foremost loyalty to their parents. This pressure generates disagreement in the marriage, especially when one spouse finds it more difficult to let go than the other. Adapting to married life can be just as challenging for the parents of the couple themselves. Sometimes parents intensify the difficulty by striving to hold onto their married children, at the slightest emotionally. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, many parents strive to make their children feel wrong for atempting to break off on their own. They battle with the concept of their “child” leaving the house. If they have become emotionally or financially reliant on that child, they tremble the modifications that may come in that relationship because of the new person in their child’s life. Notwithstanding the area from which it comes, uncertainty over how a newlywed couple should associate with their parents and families will generate tension in their marriage. Unless they discover how to deal with it, the “Bond that connects” may become a rope that strangles the life out of their relationship.
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